Burnout is quite rampant in our society. And it’s no wonder, we have these devices in our hands, and pressure to make money and the obligations and demands of work and family.
However, from my own personal experience and years of practice working with high-performing Type-A individuals, there is always a root cause that should be investigated, and today’s post is to invite you to take a closer look at one of the potential root causes ~ so if you feel ready to do so, read on!
When embarking on healing from burnout, we can get to work on clearing the surface stuff like your to-do list, your food, your self care practices, the energy vampires etc, and these things are definitely important to recovery (and prevention) of burnout.
However, let’s take a loving look today at the truth of what you’ve agreed to in your life that could be the real underlying root cause of burnout. Let’s just go there, shall we?
My clients often come to me in a state of overwhelm and burnout and once we clear that initial layer (kinda like the sugar on a creme brûlée) we get to the real goodness of what’s going on and what we sometimes find is that they agreed to adhere to some sort of external societal pressure, some external force that told them they have to do certain things to be valued in society.
For example ~
- Own a huge house you have to work a billion hours to afford so you can keep up with the Jones’
- At a job you’re not totally in absolute love with. (Or a business that no longer lights you up).
- Put your kids in every imaginable sport / program because 1) that’s what you did as a kid OR 2) you didn’t get to do that as a kid.
- Impress your parents who put so much pressure on you to succeed. If you’re not successful you’re not worthy of love.
- Get married and resign yourself to a life of steady comfort, pancakes and no sex.
- Place so much pressure on yourself to perform, to succeed, to DO the right thing, to be perfect, and get people to like you.
And so on.
So today I invite you to take a look at the choices you have made about the people, job, home you are with/in and ask yourself – am I totally, completely and utterly in love with this or have I done this to impress someone outside of me? My social circle, my parents, God, etc.
This is tough to look at because if your answer is yes, I have, now you need to face the next question ~ what do you want to do about it? and this is where people get internally freaked out because it means some sort of rejection from the tribe. Either you’ll be rejected or you’ll be rejecting someone else and rejection is a hell no! for our ego selves, for our inner child.
“If I no longer have this big house I will not be valued by my peers. This house represents all my hard work. All the hours I spent studying to become the person I am. This house is a f-you to my dad who told me I’d never amount to anything. This home is a testament that I am enough, I am worthy! This house represents the family I have agreed to and the social status I felt I was worthy of. I’ve come so far. I’m not giving this up, even if I can’t stand mowing the lawn and living in the suburbs and I hate my neighbors.”
But worth it.
Give yourself lots of love and compassion as you face your truths. Recognize that voice is the one that keeps you away from your true destiny and purpose. And those cold sweats, those moments when you feel you can’t breathe, when you want to cry and scream and throw everything out the window is your little soul begging you to hear it. Begging you to please pay attention so that you can truly feel happy and inner peace.
I recommend you take this post and meditate on it. Have it rattling around in the back of your mind and then later, when you’re at home, create a quiet sanctuary for yourself before going to bed, don’t watch TV or social media or anything else ~ just sit, breathe, and ask yourself – am I in love with my life? Have I chosen the things I currently have out of an external pressure to please others? If I could wave a magic wand and change the dynamics of of one major responsibility I have, which one would it be?
And then listen to the answer. Even if it scares you. You don’t have to DO anything about it, but if you don’t at least become honest with yourself you’re not going to really heal your burnout or depression or anxiety. It will always be there, you’ll always need external things like prescription drugs, wine, porn, affairs, work, and an addiction to being busy and constantly having stuff to do in order to silence the inner scream of your soul.
This is the path of the courageous human who chooses life, who chooses love and who chooses truth over status quo, settling and pleasing others.
If you have read this and are willing to practice it I would love to hear from you. Please send me a PM or an email to firstname.lastname@example.org so that I can support you in this deep work by giving you encouragement and whatever else you need to step forward into your real truth.
thank you for being here. Thank you for listening to your soul. Thank you for creating your own version of heaven on earth and for embarking on the journey of self-healing so that we all can heal.
Interested in having 1:1 coaching support for your journey into your greatness? Check out my services here to see if there’s a way I can support you at this time.
Check out Calm in Your Chaos – Your Complimentary Anti-Burnout Toolkit – practical, no BS tools for the Leader who doesn’t have time to be burnt out.
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