It’s kinda a running joke in my circles that I am not afraid to talk shit. And I don’t mean smack talkin’, I mean talking about poop.
Pooping is vital to our overall health. Not pooping can cause many issues from a toxic body system: zits, mood issues (PMS) and weight gain. Hormones need to be eliminated from the body once used up, as well as; ingested toxins from pesticides, or stuff we breathe in like smog or Febreeze.
To have a healthy poop one must do a few things, but first, let’s examine what a healthy poop looks like (don’t worry, I’ll use descriptive words, not images, however, if an image is what you want, check out the Bristol Stool Chart.)
What is Healthy Poop?
On average, you want to make sure you’re eliminating once a day, if not a couple times a day (after meals perhaps). Poop build up creates toxins in our body, because it’s waste – so we want that shit OUT not in. Some people go a couple times a day, while others go every other day. If you’re not sure whether you’re going too much or too little, see your nutritionist or doctor.
Ideally you want your poop to look like a sausage or banana shape, or soft blobs. You want the urge to go, but not in an urgent way. You want to poop almost as soon as you sit down; no effort required, no straining; and you should feel relief and empty after going. Your poop shouldn’t have any food in it, except maybe corn and it shouldn’t smell very bad, be frothy or greasy.
If your poop is either a bunch of little pellets, what I like to call “rabbit poop” you are pretty constipated. If your poop is really watery, not solid at all, this is diarrhea.
Poop is about 3/4 water. Water is reabsorbed in the large intestine and everything left over in the poop is there to help make it easier to pass (this is why drinking water is so important!). The remaining parts of poop are: bacteria, fibre from fruits and veggies and whole grains, and whatever else the body wants to get rid of like medicines, cholesterol and food toxins.
Your poop should be mostly brown. Colours such as grey, yellow, and dark red should be looked at by your doctor immediately. Note: in the case of red, hemorrhoids can cause bright red colour because of the fresh blood, and beets can also turn poop red BUT if you haven’t had beets and your poop is a dark red, go to your doctor.
How to get a healthy poop
There are a few ways to poopify your body.
1 – Water – drinking 64 oz of water per day is vital for our overall health, and the health of our colon. Add one glass per hour of exercise, cup of coffee or alcoholic drink.
2 – Fibre – is a vitally missing nutrient in the typical diet these days because it comes in whole foods like fruits, veggies and whole grains which the majority of people avoid. You should always to eat the skin, ensure you’re having more than one veggie a day and have whole grain products, not “white’ products, which have had their fibrous parts removed.
3 – Probiotics – I can go on and on and on about the benefits of probiotics, but what you need to know here is that our digestive system already has a fair amount of its own probiotics naturally, however with our crappy diets (no pun intended) and the use of antibiotics and stress, our good bacteria numbers are way less than our bad numbers. Taking a probiotic supplement can help re-establish good flora and pimp out your poop.
4 – Movement – moving our bodies help massage our colon which in turn helps with peristalsis – the name for the muscle movement our bowels make when moving poop along the track.
5 – Proper sitting position – did you know that the way you sit on the toilet has a lot to do with whether you poop easily or not? Look at the below diagram and you can see how our colon is pinched when we don’t sit properly. This is why you take really great shits while out in the woods! Squatting!
6 – Stress management – I’ve talked a lot about how stress impacts our digestion, and it can also play a role in constipation and other issues like IBS (Irritable Bowel Syndrome), which I suffered with for years. Stress tightens up our bodies so they can’t relax enough to let go. Chill out, and you’ll find the poop process more pleasurable.
7 – Listen to your body and have a date with your toilet – ignoring the poop bat signal is a sure fire way to mess up your colon. Issues like constipation, diarrhea, IBS, colitis, diverticulosis, diverticulitis and hemorrhoids can all be a sign that you’ve ignored your body’s signals to poop. Look, nobody likes to poop in public, or while on a date, but what’s worse? A giant piece of your asshole hanging out of your asshole (hemorrhoids) or taking a poop in his bathroom? We all do it (poop), so embrace it. If you’re new to this, set yourself a date with your toilet. Sit comfortably with your knees higher than your waist (see 5), and put on some romantic music, chill out and breathe your poop out, like you would a baby.
Now that you are armed with the tools you need to properly poop, I urge you to help me spread this message far and wide so that we can be a nation of perfect poopers!
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