Self Care isn’t just bubble baths and manicures.
What do you think of when you hear the term “self care”? I know for a lot of the women in my community it gets a bit of an eye roll. You’re a busy chick, running a business or career, running a family, and just trying to keep your head above water most days so the thought of adding a restorative yoga class or an entire day at the spa actually feels more stressful than not. It also may feel self-indulgent and that you don’t have time for all this self-care stuff.
I get it!
This is where I would encourage you to explore other self-care activities that will help you ramp up your energy so that you CAN continue hustling like a mofo and feel good at the same time.
When you’re busy self-care becomes more about helping you keep up your current level of productivity without compromising quality. But when your stress levels are crazy and you find yourself snapping or crying or wanting to scream, and your body is YELLING at you by way of digestive upset, stopped periods, lack of sex drive, or any other hormonal hell you may be in, or even pain, it’s time to try a slightly different approach.
What I encourage is called finding calm in your chaos.
You thrive on being busy and in demand, so I’m not going to take that away from you. In fact, I’m going to help you figure out how to stay busy and in demand while doing so with ease and grace and limiting, if not eliminating, the chaos raging inside your body and mind right now.
So here are 3 things you can do right now to begin to calm your chaos and continue showing up as the bad ass MOFO I know you are:
- Gratitude journaling – WAIT! Don’t roll your eyes. When we’re busy as anything it’s really hard to be grateful for the little things. When we are always planning 60-90 days out mindfulness goes out the window. Having a daily gratitude practice really helps you focus on what’s important. Part of why you’re stressed, I would imagine, is because you may be piling yourself with things that aren’t top priority or are out of alignment with what you REALLY want to be doing. By taking 5 minutes at the beginning and end of each day you can start to paint a picture of what it is you really desire and let go of the things that cause you too much stress or anxiety.
- 2-5 minutes of silence, breathing or meditation – Yup, another one of those hippy dippy recommendations, but trust me when I tell you that meditation is the one simple act that helped me triple my income in 2017, among may other amazing results. And I know all the thoughts in your head: you can’t stop thinking, meditation FEELS stressful!, you can’t see the point or benefit of it. I was like that too. My suggestion is to start slow; check out my meditation myths video first, then if you’ve never meditated before, all I want you to do is simply go online or on itunes and download 1 meditation app (my faves are Insight Timer, Headspace and Stop, Breathe and Think). That’s step 1. Step 2 is to open the apps and explore. Step 3 is to actually do 2-5 minutes (or longer if you feel you want to) of a meditation of your choice. You could also choose to purchase my Permission to Pause program, with short meditations included to help support you!
- Monitor your thoughts – self-care truly means to take care of yourself, and this isn’t just bubble baths and manicures. Who gives a shit if you have a bubble bath if you’re speaking to yourself in a negative way. When you find yourself “shoulding” or “shouldn’t-ing” or “would have”, “could have”-ing stop for a moment. Realize that you’re doing your best and that any emotion you’re feeling is NORMAL. You’re not a robot, despite how you may operate on a daily basis. It’s OK to have all the feels, it doesn’t make you weak or out of control. It’s how you deal with the feels and whether or not you allow the fears to rule your life. For example, one of my clients was about to give a big presentation at a conference full of other high-performing women. She said that she was feeling self-doubt and fear and that she “shouldn’t” have been feeling that way – she knows her stuff, why did she feel scared? I helped her reframe that and realized that self-doubt and fear are NORMAL and to NOT feel them makes you a little bit of a psychopath (lol). Even Tony Robbins is scared shitless before he starts his on-stage performances. The difference between someone who experiences self-doubt and fear and someone who is RULED by self-doubt and fear is that my client went on stage anyway. Big Tony gets on stage anyway. And I bet you do too. So be gentle with yourself, it’s OK to feel fear, it’s normal, and give yourself props for walking through it and doing the shit that most people don’t do. A quick practice to do is when you hear the negative thoughts come up, write them down on a piece of paper, then on another page, write down a contradicting thought that is more loving and supportive. If you can’t think of a loving thought, imagine what you’d say to a child or your best friend who was speaking badly about themselves.
So, my amazing woman, go kick some ass today, but ensure you’re coming from a place of truth within you, monitor those negative thoughts and give yourself the gift of stillness so that you can continue to slay like the wonder woman you are.
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